I'd Do it Differently
by Techie.freq
Summary: Losing a child is not something easy to overcome. But we'd survive this. This time, I'd do it differently. O/S


**EPOV**

_"Time will soothe everything."_

_"He was a special boy. May be that's why God needs him more than us."_

_"You need to be strong, Edward. If you're going to behave like this, who's going to comfort Bella then?"_

Yeah right. I needed to be strong for her. I needed to tell her that everything was going to be okay, even if in reality I doubted it myself.

How everything could be alright again?

Nothing was going to be same again.

_Ever._

But still, I needed to be strong.

Even if, I was dying inside and wanted to cry out loud, I shouldn't do that.

Because it would kill Bella.

And I, for sure, wouldn't survive without her; that was in case somehow I manage to survive the loss of our four years old son.

Probably I'd never forget our last conversation…

_"Edward, I'm getting tired of all this," Bella stormed in the room._

_"What Bella?" I asked, without taking my eyes off my laptop._

_"You and your work." she barked, "Do you even remember that you have a family?"_

_"Bella, don't start this again, please…" I said, as I sent the e-mail._

_"I will." She snapped._

_"Then talk to yourself. I don't have a time right now for your bullshit." I replied without thinking._

_"Bullshit? You don't talk to me for hours and when I say something, it's a bullshit?" she roared._

_"Bella, please… I'm doing some important work." I said, feeling irritated._

_"Mom... Dad…" Our son, Alec came from nowhere and my eyes snapped on him,_

_"Why do you guys fight so much?"_

_"No baby," Bella smiled at him, "We're not fighting. We're just… talking."_

_"Yeah buddy," I tried to re-assure him, "We were just talking."_

_"No… You were fighting." He said._

_"We were just talking about taking you to the movie," I blurted out. And Bella shook her head._

_"Really?" Alec asked excitedly._

_"Yes, we were." I smiled, "We were just fighting over which movie we should see…"_

_"I wanna see Spiderman," he clapped his hands. "Right, Mom?"_

_"Sure." She roamed her hand in his hair._

_Then we heard a horn of the car._

_"Come on," Bella told him, "Grandpa and grandma are here. You're ready?"_

_"Yes." He said and came to hug me, "We will go tomorrow, okay? I'm going to park now."_

_"Definitely." I smiled at him._

_"Promise?" he asked._

_"Yes." I reassured him._

_"I will wear that spidy t-shirt, Mom." He ran to Bella._

_"Okay sweetie. But now let's go to your grandparents first. They're waiting." She said._

_"Okay… Don't fight, please. I don't like when you fight." He smiled at us. "Bye Daddy." he smiled and waved._

_"Bye." I smiled hugely._

_That was the last time I had seen him. And not so soon after, we had come to hear the news._

_"Don't promise something you can't fulfill." Bella entered in the room again, after Alec left with my parents._

_"Bella please…" I sighed. "This time I won't break my promise. We will definitely go for a movie tomorrow, okay?"_

_"Yeah sure." she rolled her eyes, "I've heard that before."_

_"For God's sake…" I rose up from my chair abruptly, "Let me do my work."_

_"That's what you always do. You don't care about anything else in the world." She barked. "I can't take this anymore. If you don't care about me and Alec, then may be we should…" she paused, "May be we should part our ways."_

_"What are you talking about? You do know why I work so hard, right?" I rushed towards her and grabbed her wrists. "I've struggled so much in my life, sweetheart. And I don't want that for my child. I want to make sure that he gets the best future. He gets all the facilities we couldn't get. I don't want him to worry about his college fees or scholarships when he grows up. I want the best future for us, too. I want to bring every happiness for our family. And I want your support in this, baby. Please… Don't you… Don't you ever talk about leaving me," I said desperately._

_"You're ruining our present in the worry of the future, Edward," she looked with tear-stuck eyes._

_"Please… don't cry, baby. Please…" I took her in an embrace, "I promise… I'll devote more time for you and Al…"_

_"Don't promise something you can't fulfill." She repeated herself._

_"I promise," I repeated, too."And this time I mean it. I'm gonna change."  
_

_That's when my phone began to ring._

_"Edward… Come here… There has been an accident."_

It had been two days since I had received the horrible call.

The call, that had shattered my life.

My baby had been hit by a car while running after a puppy to save him.

The police had arrested the driver, but that didn't matter anymore.

We had lost our Alec.

And nothing was going to be same again.

And yet, I needed to be strong in front of Bella.

"Bella…" I went in Alec's room, where she was sitting on the edge of his bed, with his toys and his photos in her hands. She hadn't spoken a word since we had come back after our son's burial.

"Bella…" I sat beside her and put my hand on her shoulder; she didn't react.

"He would be sad to see you like this…" I said after few minutes. "He loved to see you happy. You know that. He…"

"Don't." she shrugged my hand from her shoulder. "Don't you say anything. Don't you dare even try to behave like Alec's death has affected you." she screamed.

I got taken aback by her reaction.

"Bella?" was all I could say.

"Don't behave like you're actually sad to lose our son. Do you even remember when was the last time you had had a proper conversation with him?" she snapped.

"Bella, he was my son. I loved him the same way you loved him, probably even more." I said, feeling my voice was breaking. Her words had hurt me like never before.

"Oh really?" she barked, "It certainly didn't feel like it."

"So, now you're questioning my love for him? I..." I raised my voice, but stopped as I saw her brushing her tears.

We both were hurt, and this was not the time to fight. It was time to stay with each other, to help each other and, to love each other.

"Bella..." I sighed as I hugged her tightly. Initially, she struggled to free herself, but later, she gave in and tightened her grip on me.

"He didn't like to see us fighting." I said as I kissed her temple.

"Why did this happen to us, Edward?" she asked. I wished I had an answer for it, but sadly there wasn't any.

"We're going to overcome this." I said, "Just don't leave me."

"I'm not going anywhere." she replied, "But I want my baby back."

"Bella..." was all I could say as I tightened my hold on her.

We were never going to get our Alec back.

We would never see him growing up.

We would never see his ever smiling face again.

But at least, we could help each other overcome his loss.

He was our darling. He was the most important person in our lives.

Probably, I had made a mistake and had ignored two most important people in my life. I had lost one person, but I would do everything possible to hold another for the rest of my life.

I wouldn't center my life around my work now; I would center it around the most important person of my life.

I wouldn't keep my feelings in my heart now; I would let her know how important she's to me.

I wouldn't keep making plans about tomorrow; I would live the present with her.

I don't know if I would be successful but this time, I'd do it differently.

**THE END**

**A/N: Thanks for reading. :)**


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